Colorado Tears
The Story Behind the Story - Project Bluelight - #1


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All of us have parts of our life we do not discuss with strangers, and the biggest strangers can be those who say they love us. These include family, friends, and lovers.



There are a few who know about this secret history, and some only guess.



What follows next are excerpts from an organization few know exist. It is dedicated to putting the fear of God into those who would harm children, for any reason; but especially in the name of "religion".



The Organization? Project Bluelight.

http://sfiu.tripod.com/bluelight

Friday, January 7; 2001

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Genghis Khan

Some say this looks like me, or will in a few years. It is actually a silk-screen hand painted portrait of Genghis Khan. Is that appropriate? :-) You decide.

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"Nothing shall be hidden, everything shall be made known." - The Christ.

THIS DOCUMENT IS CLASSIFIED:

EYES ONLY - DIRECTOR -


PROJECT: BLUELIGHT

OPERATION: COLORADO TEARS



DELIVERY -VIA - ARMED COURIER ONLY


SECURITY VIOLATIONS WILL RESULT

IN FULL PROSECUTION UNDER

THE NATIONAL SECURITY ACT

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[COVER PAGE 1 OF 1]

[Copyright Searcher Foundation 2001]



OPERATIONS - 201 FILE - PERSONNEL



CLASSIFIED: NEED TO KNOW ONLY

SUBJECT - DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS

CODE NAME: PAUL JOHNS

PROPER NAME AND ADDRESS: CLASSIFIED

[SEE FILE ALPHA NULL]

EMAIL - bluelight66044@yahoo.com



POSITION: DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS



DESCRIPTION: HT: 6'2" WT: 180 LBS. EYES: BLUE HAIR: SILVER - SHORT AND FULL IN APPEARANCE. NO MALE PATTERN BALDNESS PRESENT.



SYNOPSIS: SUBJECT IS EXTREMELY FIT, WITH A PROFOUND COMMAND PRESENCE. USUALLY DRESSES IN BLACK SUIT AND TIE, WHITE SHIRT, BLACK BERET WITH BLACK CORFAM MILITARY OFFICERS LOW QUARTERS TYPE SHOES. SUBJECT EXUDES AN AURA OF FRIENDLY MENACE.



EXPERIENCE: SUBJECT IS FORMER U. S. ARMY SPECIAL FORCES COLONEL, RETIRED - 1980?. SECONDED TO THE AGENCY [CIA] AS A "CONSULTANT" SINCE 1980. QUALIFIED AS EXPERT KNIFE, PISTOL, AUTOMATIC WEAPONS, AND MARTIAL ARTIST. [BLACK BELT]. CLEARED BY THE AGENCY TO PERFORM "SANITARY TERMINATIONS WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE". [NOTE: THIS DOES NOT INDICATE HE IS A PERSONNEL EXPERT EXPERIENCED IN FIRING PEOPLE.] FORMER DESIGN CONSULTANT TO CLASSIFIED PROJECT PHOENIX. [SELECTIVE TERMINATIONS WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE TO NORTH VIETNAMESE, SOVIET AND CHINESE HIGH RANKING OFFICERS DURING THE VIETNAM CONFLICT.] ALL OTHER OPERATIONS HE HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN ARE STILL CLASSIFIED BY THE AGENCY AS NEED TO KNOW ONLY, AND WE DO NOT HAVE THE NEED TO KNOW. THERE IS ONE PUBLIC PHOTOGRAPH IN EXISTENCE WITH AP, WHICH SHOWS HIM LEADING A MIXED SPECIAL FORCES/SEAL TEAM INTO GRENADA.



MARRIED TO "ALICE" - A FORMER AGENCY TRANSLATOR. IT IS UNDERSTOOD HE VOLUNTEERS WITH US TO REMOVE HIMSELF FROM HER FREQUENT INFLUENCE.



- ERIC, ADMIN.



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OPERATIONS - 201 FILE - PERSONNEL

CLASSIFIED: NEED TO KNOW ONLY

SUBJECT - FIELD OPERATIVE



CODE NAME: LUKE

PROPER NAME AND ADDRESS: CLASSIFIED [SEE FILE ALPHA NULL]

EMAIL - bluelight66044@yahoo.com

POSITION: COVERT OPERATIVE



DESCRIPTION: HT: 5'9" WT: 180 LBS. EYES: BROWN HAIR: BROWN/GREY. MALE PATTERN BALDNESS PRESENT DUE TO SCALP SCARRING FROM WOUNDS SUFFERED U.S. ARMY 1973.



SYNOPSIS: LUKE IS A FORMER USA AND US AIR FORCE MEDIC CROSS-TRAINED AS TRAUMA, MEDICAL RECORDS, AND SURGICAL SPECIALIST WITH FURTHER CROSS TRAINING AS A SNIPER. PERSONALLY TRAINED IN FIELD OPERATIONS BY COL. JOHNS.



EXPERIENCE:



WEST GERMANY CID/CIC. PARTICIPATED IN TWO OPERATIONS AS UNDERCOVER OPERATIVE CIC/CID.



1. AFTER BEING DRUGGED [TRADE NAME: ACID] AND ASSAULTED BY DRUG RUNNERS, DID EXPOSE AND TURN OVER TO CID A LONG ESTABLISHED MILITARY DRUG [HEROIN, SPEED, HASHISH] RING. PRINCIPALS INCLUDED CURRENT LOVER - CODE NAME: MARIA [DOUBLE AGENT - SEE 2] AND BEST FRIEND. - [CODE NAME: RALPH] [NAMES SANITIZED FROM THIS FILE - SEE FILE ALPHA BETA.]



2. HIS BEST FRIEND [CODE NAME: RALPH. NAMES SANITIZED FROM THIS FILE - SEE FILE ALPHA BETA. ALSO 1.] INTRODUCED HIM TO DOUBLE AGENT- [CODE NAME: MARIA] WHO SEXUALLY ENTICED HIM TO PHOTOGRAPH CLASSIFIED LOCATIONS. HE TURNED HER AND HIS BEST FRIEND OVER TO CIC/CID FOR DISPOSITION.



3. [PSYCH REPORT] THIS INDIVIDUAL HAS CONVERTED PSYCHOLOGICALLY FROM A PSYCH STATE OF PERSONAL INNOCENCE TO A MISTRUST IN HIS OWN JUDGEMENT REGARDING PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. WITH THE PROPER PREPARATION AND TRAINING, HE SHOWS SIGNS OF BEING A VERY EFFECTIVE OPERATIVE.



4. FIRST WIFE DID BETRAY HIM AND PRESENT HIM WITH SOCIAL DISEASE [GONORRHEA]. DIVORCE FOLLOWED WITHIN SIX MONTHS. TWO MALE CHILDREN A RESULT OF THIS MARRIAGE.



5. SECOND WIFE BETRAYED HIM FOR FAMILY AND CORPORATE POSITION.



6. [PSYCH REPORT - ADDENDUM 1 - SUBJECT HAS MUCH HIDDEN ANGER AND RESENTMENT.]



7. THIRD WIFE ABANDONED HIM AND THREE MONTH OLD MALE CHILD, WHILE ATTEMPTING EXTORTION OF SUBJECT TO FEED HER DRUG HABIT [SPEED]. SUBJECT OBTAINED LEGAL CUSTODY OF MALE CHILD. COLLUSION BETWEEN SUBJECTS MOTHER AND GRANDMOTHER OF MALE CHILD RESULTED IN SEPARATION OF MALE CHILD AND SUBJECT. SUBJECT RECOVERED WELL AND INSTIGATED A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION TO ASSIST OTHERS IN LOCATING KIDNAPPED, MISSING AND ABUSED CHILDREN. THIS APPARENTLY HEALTHY ADJUSTMENT SEEMS TO BE HIS REASON FOR "BEING," AS SUBJECT TERMS HIS ADJUSTMENT. THIS INCIDENT RESULTED IN REUNITING PRESENT DIRECTOR OF SECURITY/OPERATIONS WITH SUBJECT.



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OPERATION: COLORADO TEARS



FORWARD

Office of the Director



Sir:



This operation began with a telephone call. Subject - Code Name: Eric is an old friend. We had been friends since working together from the fall of 1980. Despite numerous problems with his opposite sex relationships, he is a good competent operative who has saved my life on more than one occasion. As you know, I consider him my surrogate son.



We had originally met as Directors for a non-profit organization, which traced missing children with a secondary mission of investigating child abuse and neglect reports. His original tasks were administrative, but he had an instinct for fieldwork, which became all apparent, when he faced down a male abuser in a shopping center who outweighed him by fifty pounds. The abuser saw something in Eric's eyes that caused him to back down immediately. I knew then that it was past time to recruit him.



Recruitment was easily effected, and then the inevitable overload occurred. The frustration of not being able to affect any solutions wears upon us all. Eric made a professional transition: he found a way to make his own solutions.



A very small percentage of missing children literally disappear. [Our figures show five to seven percentiles.] Eric fixated on this percentage, looking for answers, and found them. This small percentage are being abducted and used as sacrificial objects, usually by so-called "Wiccan" or "Witchcraft" religious movements in this country.



These groups have physically, emotionally and spiritually ambushed Eric at least twice. He has been assaulted, poisoned, betrayed and the victim of more than one hit and run. Informants tell me he has a 'contract' out on him of $500,000 and growing - the longer he remains alive. The funding for this reward is coming from some very interesting places. [Ref: File Alpha Null - Top Secret]

On this evidence alone, Eric is apparently very successful. I have offered background protection. Eric has refused this three times. He feels he would have to defend his protectors; and my suggestion is a waste of time.



This organization needs Eric - alive. I would suggest selective termination of some member of the opposition leadership as an object lesson



Respectfully,

Colonel Paul Johns

Director of Operations



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OPERATION: COLORADO TEARS



INTERNAL MEMO

Office of the Director



Paul Johns

Director of Operations



Paul,



As in the past, you will do whatever you have to do. The decision is yours. You run Ops, not I.



Regards,



The Director



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OPERATION: COLORADO TEARS



SUBJECT: DEBRIEFING - OPERATIVE ERIC



FROM: DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS



CLASSIFIED: EYES ONLY - DIRECTOR



ERIC: Colonel. Long time no see.



JOHNS: Right, Eric. How's tricks?



ERIC: Difficult, but operational.



JOHNS: Yeah, I know. Are you aware they have a contract on you?



ERIC: [sound of sigh] Why is it I'm not surprised? Since we began this thing together, it has become a little harder to do each year. I'm quite content we decided to go covert with it then. If we had not, I'm not sure I'd still be here.



JOHNS: You have our permission to go armed whenever you'd like, you know.



ERIC: Colonel, you and I both know if I was caught with a weapon by any one of the hundreds of cops who check me out as homeless, my cover would have been blown a long time ago. Besides, what's the point? The instant they decide to hire a sniper, I'm dead anyway. Nobody stops a sniper but another sniper.



JOHNS: You could do it. Nobody is better than you are at the craft, and I've known and trained a good many.



ERIC: I still have to have access to a weapon. If I need one, I'll call you.



JOHNS: If you need one, it may be too late.



ERIC: The only one to give a shit would be you.



JOHNS: Isn't that enough?



ERIC: Yeah, I guess so.



JOHNS: What is it, Eric? Annette?



ERIC: I'll have to think about that answer.



JOHNS: Eric, when have we ever hidden anything from each other?



ERIC: Personally or operationally?



JOHNS: I mean personally. You can't let that woman bum you out so much you don't want to live.



ERIC: Colonel. You trained me to take care of business. Let me take care of business. I'm fine. Really. Scouts honor. You trained me well enough that I really don't need anything but my two hands, and you know it. Well, let's not forget head and feet. [The sound of mutual laughter]. Besides, the day I'm not smart enough to outwit these religious half-wits, I'll hang it up and retire. If you live by the sword, you die by the sword. We both know that.



JOHNS: Keep your eye on the ball, Eric. This is for the kids, not you.



ERIC: Don't push it too far, Paul. That was almost too far. You know better.



JOHNS: When are you going to stop being a damn prima donna?



ERIC: When they put the lid down on my coffin. For you and me. Look at the pot calling the kettle black. [more laughter.]



JOHNS: Tyrannous Carborundum. Don't let the bastards grind you down. You know you're going to have to go back to Colorado and do that bastard, don't you?



ERIC: Yeah. Do you have any Intel on whether or not she set me up?



JOHNS: You mean Annette?



ERIC: Yep.



JOHNS: You know the answer to that one. I don't need to tell you. You just won't face it. Get him before he gets you, OK?



ERIC: Yeah.



END DEBRIEFING - OPERATIVE ERIC



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OPERATION: COLORADO TEARS



SUBJECT: FIELD REPORT - OPERATIVE ERIC



FROM: DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS



CLASSIFIED: EYES ONLY - DIRECTOR



Let me recap on how this mess got started. I was traveling eastbound from CA with my usual cover - a homeless person with a backpack. As per your training, Colonel, this is the easiest way to become invisible in this country. Nobody sees you unless you scream big and loud, then they arrest you and put you away somewhere unpleasant, where you can't choose your neighbors. But, it's lonely; and that's where I stepped on my meat, big time.



I had stopped in a trailer park to clean up, and couldn't find the Manager, so I set up anyway. Just my bedroll under a tree by a running stream. The sunset was very beautiful that night. As the sun went down this lady [CODE NAME: ANNETTE] strolled up walking a very tiny dog. She was a class act, Colonel; even wearing a blue jeans dress. The way she carried herself and talked to me told me she was well educated and confident within herself. She was my height, but distributed a whole lot better than mine. A perfect 36-24-36 figure. Shoulder length auburn hair, clean and shiny. I met the dog first. He climbed into my lap, turned over so I could scratch his tummy. You know what a sucker I am for animals. We smoozed a few minutes before she said anything. Then it was like two old friends who hadn't seen each other in a while. A very comfortable interlude. We talked for a long time, admiring the sunset together. She had a lovely contralto voice. The only thing that kept her from being perfect was a slack in her facial muscles. I guessed her age at fifty - give or take. Her smile was something I fell into early.



We talked of many things - most of which I don't remember. Just talking with her was enough. We discussed my research into the Piled Higher and Deeper - particularly the role of Miriam in the life of Christ. Later, I realized: she was my Miriam. I called her 'Miriamne', or 'little bitter one'. She admitted to several failed relationships. I wasn't immune from that syndrome. I mentioned not being able to find the Trailer Park Managers so I could get a shower. She looked into my eyes for what seemed an eternity, then graciously invited me to use hers. I figured: why not? I was already drowning in her beautiful eyes, not romantically; but a very strong pull between people. Most would call it chemistry.

We walked a short distance to her fifth wheel type travel trailer. Stepping inside, I immediately noticed it was packed full of expensive furniture and appliances, like a storage place rather than living space. It was neat enough, but crammed full. When I stepped out of the shower, she was standing there, with no room for me to step around her, so we looked into each other's eyes for what seemed an eternity. I couldn't read her, and I wasn't about to make a pass, so I waited. Finally, she smiled a funny little smile, like she knew a secret I didn't know, and stood aside.

She invited me out to have supper with her at a local steak house and I accepted. We talked for hours. More of the same. Getting acquainted. We drove over in a late model dark metallic blue Pontiac, which I later discovered belonged to her current 'friend'. [CODE NAME: NATHANIEL] We returned to the trailer and talked some more.

Suddenly a man [CODE NAME: NATHANIEL] walked into the trailer as if he owned it. He was about my height and build and deliberately snotty in his remarks to her. She introduced him as 'Nat'. I discovered he and I had many similar interests, particularly computers, and the Internet. Throughout my attempts at conversation with him, he talked down to me in a superior manner, much the same attitude he showed toward her. I knew eventually he and I would clash physically, so I said a gracious goodbye to them both. She insisted on trading e-mail addresses, so I did. I breathed a deep sigh of relief, leaving there. My thought was the old joke: "Thank God and Greyhound she's gone." I did not expect to hear from her again.



I was wrong. The first of many. A week later I checked my mail, and she was there, and inside my mind. Very chatty, nothing remotely intimate until later; much later.



Throughout my journeys researching, after months in the Sonora desert, it began. Each week came another message, often more than one. She signed her last message: "Love." Looking back, her smile and the highlights of the sun on her hair - the dog - everything about her was on my mind. Gradually, I felt myself slipping. I'll admit it: she was teaching me to love her. And, Dear God, I was responding; bit-by-bit. Moment-by-moment.



She asked a favor: would I talk to her daughter? [CODE NAME: BARBARA] It seems the daughter was working on a paper for the University, about Spirituality. In things spiritual, I had always gone by the word of Christ: "Ask and ye shall receive." So I agreed. My first of many mistakes in our relationship. I should've run - far and long.



I agreed to meet at a particular spot. The daughter was late, it was a hot day, and I almost left; never to meet her. However, I do try to keep promises, and finally - after two hours: There she was. She drove a little silver hatchback - new. I wondered again where all this money was coming from.



Barbara only vaguely resembled her mother. She was tall, blonde, slim and lanky as only a nineteen-year-old can be - and breath-takingly lovely. Full breasted where her mother was only ordinary by comparison. Blonde, where her mother was auburn haired. Facial features totally dissimilar. Nothing fit. I did not see where they could even claim to be related. I wondered what her father looked like, but I was never to meet him; physically. We became good friends, I think - but only over the telephone.



Barbara treated me to a Chinese food dinner, and it was delicious. She proved to be a very adept interviewer. I very much enjoyed our evening, then she dropped me off outside of town; and I thought that was the end of the whole thing. Unfortunately, it was only the beginning.



We emailed, nearly constantly for a month. At one point, she became totally aberrant - a complete personality change. Nothing she wrote made sense. The only sense I could make of it was - fear. Then, she seemed to pull herself together. "You don't need to help me", she said. "Everything is fine". Which of course only made me more determined to be with her. Looking back, the application of 'reverse psychology' was very much a part of her 'modus operandi'. She played me - long, often and well. I tried for two days to get a ride out of that desert to get to her, and no joy. Finally, I got hold of a bicycle, and started pedaling. A month later, she emailed me she would meet me. We agreed to meet at [Site Alpha] in Colorado.

I was there a full month before she arrived, and we were emailing at least once a day. This is where it got real spooky. I still can't figure it out. I found an old shaman site on the side of a mountain, so high I was having trouble breathing. It was lovely there. A cut into the mountain about 50 feet deep. It was all white marble, and a great spot to build a fire with no danger of forest fire.

I wasn't there a week when I started attracting some interesting people. The first was a young man who told me he was a college student. {Code Name: Joe} He was medium height and weight, blonde; about nineteen. He attracted women like moths to flame. We discussed a lot of common sense and spirituality. Our relationship grew to be very much like ours, Colonel. I thought of him as a younger brother.



He in turn introduced me to a real piece of work Joe had met at the local Cafe, six two, black dread locks, camouflage clothes and logging boots. {Code Name: Hairhead} He drove a little dark blue compact car; too old and beat up to tell what it was. Very slim, but wiry. He did play a very fine guitar. He asked me if he might join us on the mountain, and appeared to be a very pleasant sort. So, I said: "Sure, why not?"



Big mistake, Colonel. One of the biggest I ever made. A week later, I saw him and a male companion of the same height, weight and camo clothing prowling together up on the mountain above the campsite. [Code name: Elmo] It's very steep there, nearly vertical. My operational instincts started waving bright red flags at me, so I followed them two miles into town - on foot. I never got a front view of Hairhead's buddy. To the best of my knowledge, I never saw him again.



To say I was nervous by this time was a marked understatement. My love and her daughter were on the way, and I was distinctly outnumbered. No one had by that time said anything, but everyone in the camping area knew they were coming. I had even talked to Joe in private about being an escort for the daughter. He thought it was a great idea. Then he started asking me about self-defense, so I taught him a few things. He never said, but I think he was picking up on the same bad vibes I was.



Then, I got an email from her telling me when she was going to arrive - forty-eight hours from now. That night, I camped a mile away down on the trailhead, near the only place she could park.



Twenty-four hours early, there she was; driving up in that dusty white, very expensive Land Rover SUV. I walked up from behind her, she turned in the driver's seat, and the smile she gave me would turn night into day. She climbed out, right into my arms. Oh, Wow! I can't begin to tell you how good she felt in my arms. She fit perfectly. I had never held her before and no other woman for a long, long time. It took all the self-control I had not to kiss her right then. Somehow, I held off. The soft smile she gave me then was reward enough. She had to be nervous, too.

THE ORIGINAL BLUELIGHT MISSION - 1980 - JANUARY 1

Oh, man. Colonel, when I got home; I lived the dream. You know, marry the girl next door, settle down and be happy. So, I did it. She was beyond my fondest dreams.

Then, we got married. The next thing I knew she was a member of this cult group. Then, she was gone.

I understand she's a very famous lady now. They call her: "The Queen". No, not the english royalty. Something else, I don't know what.

I only know she doesn't love me. She's not here, is she?

I've been looking for a long time now, Colonel. Not for revenge. Just to understand, you know. It was her decision, and I loved her. No man can keep a woman who doesn't want to stay. But why? Colonel? Why?

One night, she came in from work and accussed me of cheating on her. "You've been sleeping on somebody's water bed." She said. "You're only after my money. Now, get out of here! I'm aborting your brat, too." I swear to you, I never knew she had money. I never wanted her money, just her love. So, I proved it. Me and the dog walked out of that empty Condo into a snow storm. I never saw the dog again. Sorry about that. I hope he found a good home. I loved him too, but God took him, just like God or somebody took her.

I've been looking for a long time now, Colonel. But it's over, you know? Too long to hold onto the memory of someone I loved so long; long ago. The worst part is seeing a young girl on campus who looks just like she looked then. Is she my daughter? I don't know, but it haunts me in the long hours of the night.

I kept telling myself that until I found this nurse I knew. Maybe we can get back together? Who knows. God. Hear my prayer. How about a little catch up? Am I ready now? Will you help me keep this one, please?

[to be continued.]